For this fall edition of the Men’s Rights Blog, in the spirit of Halloween, the following is a list of what to do, and not to do, during family law litigation. Although this list may be obvious to some, it is SCARY how often these things happen, and therefore they need to be mentioned. With that said, here are some “tricks and treats” for existing and potential family law litigants:
1. Do not procrastinate with your homework (i.e., Financial Affidavits, Mandatory Disclosure, and Parenting Classes)
Do not wait until the last day to turn your documents in to your lawyer. It is amazing that with so much riding on the line, how so many people can procrastinate in the preparation, and turning in, of their documents. In family law litigation, there are a specific set of deadlines that need to be followed. As you begin your case, your lawyer should make you aware of all such deadlines. Upon retaining the firm, you should also receive a list of what documents are needed. Don’t be the client that waits until the actual due date to turn everything in. What most new clients don’t understand is that the entire stack of documents, be it Mandatory Disclosure, your Financial Affidavit, or your Parenting Certificate all need to be organized, reviewed, and prepared prior to your signature and filing. For things like your Mandatory Disclosure and your Financial Affidavit, these take time to review. Before turning them in, take the time to fill out the documents as completely as possible. The lesson here is to be thorough, be organized, and cooperate with your lawyer and legal staff as diligently as possible. (i.e., Help us help you.)
2. Do not consume illegal drugs in the middle of a custody dispute.
Common sense, right? It’s unfortunate, but for many this is a major issue, and a hurdle that they must overcome in their efforts to provide a safe environment for their children. If substance abuse becomes an issue, parties may be subjected to drug testing, and in some cases, this drug testing is done by hair follicle. Florida Statute 61.13(3)(q) is one of the factors that a judge will consider when determining what is in the best interests of your child, and states, “The demonstrated capacity and disposition of each parent to maintain an environment for the child which is from substance abuse.” It is very important here to understand that this factor states “ from substance abuse.” So although consumption of illegal drugs may be what first comes to mind, this also includes legal drugs such as alcohol as well. With that said, for those who like to drink alcohol, it is incredibly important to recognize whether your consumption has gone past the point of average social drinking. Although alcohol is legal, if you are consuming it every day, or to the point of impairment, and you cannot maintain an appropriate environment for the children, that choice may come back to haunt you.
3. Do not argue, or try to be funny, with the opposing counsel and/or the judge.
This one shouldn’t have to be mentioned, but it happens all too often. I get to court, I’ve prepared my client, he/she is comfortable with having to testify, and before we walk in, I mention one more thing. (i.e., No matter what happens when opposing counsel cross examines you, remain calm and answer the question. Do not let them get to you, as it is their job to poke and prod at your testimony.) All too often, clients take this process personally, and let opposing lawyers frustrate them. The ensuing responses from clients often times bring out a side of their personality that they wished later that the judge simply didn’t see. Everyone understands that this is a frustrating and difficult time, but when you go in front of the judge, you are being evaluated not only for your credibility, but among many other things, the judge is also observing your demeanor. That is your time to let the judge know exactly what is going on in your life, with the hopes that you can achieve some recourse. Don’t let your emotions get in the way of that. On that same note, do not try to be funny or comical. Little smirks, combined with sarcasm, during a difficult time may also negatively affect you. The judge’s time is valuable, and you’ve waited a very long time in some cases to get in front of that judge. Treat the judge and the other officers of the court with respect and use your day in court to the fullest; do not bury it with emotions, or you’ll be white as a ghost when the judge buries you.
4. Do not lie.
From the moment you hire your attorney, you must understand that this person does not know you. The only information he or she has, is the information that you provide. It is vital that you be honest from the very beginning. Do not try to manipulate your information in a way that you think will help benefit you. As officers of the court, attorneys have a duty to maintain truth and candor to the court. With that said, if you tell your lawyer one thing, then later lie while under oath, that lawyer has a duty to inform the court. The moral here is simple: the facts of your life are what they are; be open and honest from the start, and it will help your lawyer to do the best possible job for you. Do not let lies come back from the dead to kill your case!
5. Actually show up to your hearing.
You may think this one is ridiculous. You may be saying to yourself, “I’m going to pay a very large amount of money to my lawyer, and I need this to turn out right; why would I not show up?” Good question. However, believe it or not, some clients despite emails, paper notices, and even direct phone calls, still manage not to show up to their hearing. As a lawyer, it becomes very difficult to take testimony from a client in the courtroom, when that client is not physically in the courtroom! It’s even harder to argue on your behalf about how much this means to you, when you are not even there to represent your own interests. So, whether you need to set an alarm and wake up extra early, or you need to arrange that ride to the courthouse from a reliable friend, etc., make sure you’re there. Moreover, double check the date of your hearing, the time of that hearing, and what room number it is in. And finally, if you do actually come, don’t be late. Leave yourself enough time to get through security and find where you’re going once you’re in the courthouse. In short, be there and be early.
Happy Belated Halloween!