The holiday season is upon us. If you are in the middle of a divorce or paternity case, you are likely feeling pressure to make the holidays extra special. You may be tempted to overspend on gifts for your children in order to make up for the confusion they are feeling or for “breaking up” the family. This can become a “tradition” that you won’t want to continue. The children will expect bigger and better gifts for every holiday and birthday. You could find yourself competing with the other parent to out-do each other.
Children caught in the middle of family conflict need reassurance more than material items. Consider buying gifts that will help you to spend extra time with your children this holiday. For example, board games can get the whole family involved. Use the time to talk to your children as you play the game. Perhaps new bicycles for the family, and then be sure that you make it a regular activity that you do with your children. The extra time you spend with your children will help to reduce their confusion and, as an added bonus, bring you closer to them.
One final suggestion about holiday gift giving: while the last thing you may want to do is to be kind to the other parent when you are in conflict, it is important to realize that the other parent is still your child(ren)’s mother or father. You should be sure that the child(ren) has a card and a gift (either homemade or store bought) for the other parent for all special occasions. If the child(ren) is spending the holiday with you, be sure that they call or Skype the other parent and grandparents to wish them a happy holiday. You should always encourage your child(ren) to ly express their love for the other parent and their family whether or not the other parent does the same. This encouragement will be viewed favorably by the Judge reviewing your custody dispute.