It’s that time of year again. Time to start planning for the holidays.
It is a time that most families enjoy, a time to reconnect with family and friends and to take a short break from our busy schedules.
But, when a family is also in the middle of being redefined (whether through divorce, separation, remarriage of one or both parties, etc.), the holidays can become a time of stress and confusion. It can be especially difficult for parents and children who will need to spend all or part of a favorite holiday apart because of their new family structure.
What Is A Typical Visitation Schedule?
Every family will have their own visitation schedule and this should be set up months or weeks in advance. It will reduce your stress level.
It is important to work out the holiday schedule in advance because the Court will not have time to set a hearing on your request if the other parent will not cooperate. If you are unable to agree with the other parent, it is important to contact an attorney as soon as possible.
But, just to give you a sampling of what a visitation schedule could look like…
- Every other holiday
- Christmas eve with one and Christmas day with the other
- You could also divide the holiday days as well. An example would be:
Christmas day with one until 1 pm and the rest of the day the children would spend with the other. Again, these are just suggestions. You and your spouse / ex should work together to make the best holiday schedule for the children (not necessarily for yourselves).
At What Age Does A Child Have A Say In Visitation?
Of course, all the best laid plans by the parents will not work if the child(ren) do not want to comply.
In Florida, in general, the court gives greater weight to the child’s wishes when he/she is 13 years and older.
However, the child’s preference is not definitive, and is only one factor for the court to consider.
What Happens If You Don’t Follow The Visitation Guidelines?
Essentially, ignoring or willfully disobeying the visitation guidelines that were set up means that you are in contempt of court.
The consequences could include any of the following:
- The parent who was non-compliant may have to attend parenting classes.
- The visitation plan that was put together may be altered.
- A fine may be imposed on the uncooperative parent.
- Jail time may be assigned to the uncooperative parent.
But, we do hope that your situation does not get to this point. If it does, we urge you to contact your attorney immediately.
Otherwise, here are some tips that we can give you on how to make your holidays smoother if you are sharing your children with another.
Tips To Make Visitations And Holiday Scheduling Easier
- It is important to remember that children look to the adults in their lives to guide their behavior. Even if you are unhappy with the new arrangement, it is important not to put your child(ren) in the middle.
- Regardless of where the child(ren) spend(s) the holiday, they should be encouraged to contact the absent parent on the special day. For young children, Facetime or Skype helps them to focus on the other parent during their conversation.
- The parent enjoying timesharing should send pictures of the child(ren) if they are participating in a special event or wearing a special outfit. This also provides conversation starters for the absent parent when speaking with the child(ren).
- It is okay to tell the child(ren) that you will miss them on the special day, but never make them feel guilty for enjoying their time with the other parent.
- Also, make sure that you celebrate the holiday in your own way when they return or before they leave. You can wait to open gifts or share a special meal or dessert once you are together.
- For parents spending the holiday without the child(ren), who don’t have family close by, spend the day with friends or volunteer your time to help others. It won’t be the same as spending time with your child(ren), but it can be a rewarding experience and who knows, you may find something that you would like to share with your child(ren) next year.
Read more about Florida child visitation laws here.
Should you require assistance with your own holiday schedule, call Men’s Rights Law Firm at 239-829-0166 to schedule your telephone consultation.