How essential is the ability of parents to put aside their personal feelings about each other and put the needs of their children first? You only need to look to Florida Statute 61.13 to see that the Court places great importance on parents being able to separate the feelings they have for each other with their ability to parent their children. Three paragraphs of the statute discuss this ability. F.S. 61.13(3)(a), (c) and (r) all mention each parent’s ability to foster a close relationship between the children and the other parent, to consider the needs of the children above their own needs and desires, and to keep from making negative remarks about the other parent to or in front of the children.
It is important that you learn to love your children more than you hate your ex. When you are with your children, focus your energy and comments about what is good about the other parent rather than what makes you angry. Regardless of your feelings about your ex, they are still your child’s parent. Your child will turn your negativity about your ex on themselves which can cause self-esteem issues, anger, and depression. It isn’t easy to move past painful feelings, but it is necessary if you want peace for yourself and your children. “Bitterness and resentment only hurt one person, and it’s not the person we’re resenting – it’s us.” Alana Stewart