For this Thanksgiving issue of the Men’s Rights Blog, let’s take a minute to acknowledge some practical pieces of advice that family law litigants can use to help facilitate the difficult process of dealing with divorce and custody issues. During this trying time, it is easy to get lost in all the stress, and even easier to focus your attention on issues that may make it difficult to live your daily life. During a divorce, try your best to remain optimistic and not overlook those closest to you that are helping you get through this. Also, do not overlook your children, as this is a traumatic time for them as well. Be thankful for those people. The world that you worked so hard to build may feel as though it is crumbling, but amongst all the rubble, you may still have a lot to be thankful for. You, and your children’s health, or a good job perhaps, etc.; so be thankful for what you do have, and try not to become bogged down with everything you don’t.
There is no doubt that your life is changing and that your divorce has turned your life completely upside down. However, stay focused, as there will be a lot of “gives and takes” throughout this process. The sooner you understand what is most important to you, the more effective tools such as pre-trial negotiations and mediation will be. Pick and choose your arguments wisely. Often times, emotions are running so high, that some parties choose to argue over every single little detail. No matter how insignificant the detail may be, some parties will fight over everything. This approach leaves parties exhausted, frustrated, and sometimes broke; while only feeling that the system, and the other party, are simply being unfair.
Trust in the fact that your family law professionals are working very hard to best represent your interests, and understand that the facts of your life fit within the law in a certain way. Being clear in what you want will allow your lawyer to help resolve your situation in a way that best suits your life, which may help you move forward in the most cost effective way. Recognize the things that you just can’t live without, and try to let go of the spiteful feelings that you may have for the other party. That sort of animosity will only prolong the process, cost more money, and leave you farther from your goal. Remember, your lawyer is here to help counsel you with the law and fight aggressively for you, but ultimately, this is your life and you make the decisions regarding your case. All in all, be aware of what you are most thankful for, do a hard cost/benefit analysis of your life and the things in it, and allow that decisiveness to help guide you closer to the light at the end of the tunnel.
Happy Thanksgiving!